Growing up in the 70's, there were just a few girls on TV that I could relate to and looked up to. Valerie Bertinelli on One Day at A Time was one of them. She was a teenager when I was, and she had a sister like I did. Of course, her teenage life was much more interesting than mine, but I could dream...
But what I admired more as I grew up alongside her was keeping up with the many things she did. She had so many roles and was in so much - TV movies and shows, on the Food Network and even now on the Drew Barrymore Show. And did I mentioned she married a rock star? This is a multi-decades career and a life of being in the spotlight. And what I am most interested now is, as we are similar in age, is how does she do it all? Where does this energy come from?
I knew she had written a book, as she was at our local bookstore a few weeks ago. I was going to go see her there, but then I saw that she was doing a special "Conversation with Valerie Bertinelli" at the Carteret Performing Events and Arts Center in NJ. Being a Jersey Girl my whole life, I had never been to this center but checked out what exit is was on the Turnpike, invited a fellow Jersey Girl to come and ventured down there.
The Carteret Performing Events and Arts Center was a beautiful shiny new building with plenty of space and great seating. There was not a bad seat in the house. When I was entering the event, I also found out that on top of hearing her speak, the icing on the cake was that after the talk she would be personally signing the books (which were part of the ticket price).
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| Jersey Girls Debbie Lotosky, Suzanne Ordas Curry and Valerie Bertinelli |
Valerie did not disappoint. I went there for inspiration. I wanted to know what got her out of bed in the morning, got her to put on makeup and fashionable clothing and prep and do so much each day. At this age, everything requires a whole lot more effort than it used to! And this lady is all over the place. Even in Carteret NJ. The Drew Barrymore Show tapes in the morning. That 's a lot of work sometimes before the sun is even up. How does she do it? Please, please give me some words of inspiration!
Well, Valerie did not disappoint. The conversation was between Valerie and Media Personality Terri Carr, who fielded great questions and covered all the bases. Terri and Valerie knew each other so the questions often came from a point of personal knowledge.
Valerie talked alot about the book and why she wrote it. Though I have listed key takeaways below in this article, my greatest takeaway is that she has made a lot of mistakes - or poor choices in her life - as we all have - and she embraces them now as learning situations that make her a better person now. Not a perfect person, just a better person. It's all about attitude and gratitude. I was also impressed with her humility, and as she she spoke frankly about her misgivings, her many amazing talents and accomplishments needed to be highlighted by the interviewer.
Did I get some hints on how to live a more imperfect but perfect life? For sure. I didn't get any tips about what she eats or her daily routines - gotta read that book - but I came away seeing that she is still a role model for women. At age 65, it's not her age that is stopping her from doing anything, in fact age did not seem to be factor in this conversation. It was more about progress and accepting oneself as they are at whatever age they are.
Thank you Valerie for the pep talk. I needed it!
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| Terri Carr fields questions to Valerie Bertinelli |
Here are Ten Takeaways from the Talk (But Read the book for the whole story!)
On Moving Forward
She said that "digging deep and leaving things behind in a way to move forward." She talked a lot about her therapy.
On Not Wanting to Be Perfect Anymore
Valerie said, "When it comes to perfection, I always wanted to be, I wanted to be the good girl.. I wanted to leave someone feeling better about themselves before they met me, I just want to do good in the world, but that doesn't involve perfection."
On Learning from Mistakes
She said, "The more mistakes we make the more we learn, and the older and older I get, I am grateful for all those mistakes that I've made because that's the only way I learned about how much joy I can actually experience in my life, and when you have the really dark days, the bright days look so much better, and we have control over that."
Life can be really hard.. There are difficult things that happen. 2024 was the worst year of my life, it was just the most difficult and challenging time of my life..I would not be as firm in my boundaries as I am now had I not gone through all that."
On Conversations with Herself
She admits that she talks to herself alot (Don't we all?)
On Taking Control
She talked a lot about past trauma, and how people often use it to hurt other people. She stated, "You have the power to disarm any weapon that someone uses to hurt you."
On Keeping Moving Except for...
She said that walking is a very important part of her life. She is always walking and moving. She also likes to rest hard because she works hard. For instance, at times during the day, "even though she thinks there is something she should be doing, like cleaning out her junk drawer," she rests. She said she has gotten to the point where "resting is okay."
On Being a Proud Mom
She is very proud of her son Wolfie, who is a talented musician, and really nice person, in the band Mammoth. She quipped how it was a good thing he turned out musical because "we named him after Wolfgang Mozart" and with Van Halen as a last name it was rather expected.
On Her Latest Movie
She just did a movie for Lifetime called Love Again (according to IMDB) that will be out in May. Eric McCormack plays a love interest. She said she really enjoyed this role because she was "able to be raw and unequivocally emotional" in it because of the experience and confidence she has developed at this point in her life.
On Making Plans when God Has Others
She said it's great to make plans, but that God's got something else ready for you. She mused how "It's fun to make God laugh" as she says he is "amused by us." She also believes that God is not a he/she but "an energy, it's a bigger energy than us and it's love."
On Being Grateful
Valerie said, "I say thank you alot. I say thank you when I don't get cut off in traffic. I say thank you when I find a parking spot." she said "I think gratitude and loving yourself are really important They are really important habits to continue and to develop."
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| Valerie's Book is available almost everywhere |
For more on Valerie, her new venture and her book, visit: