Editor's Note - Beth is a frequent contributor to SuzeeBehindtheScenes. Due to certain circumstances, she has left the stability of New Jersey to live in Paris for a bit.
Paris.
No, that’s not quite right.Paris! (Yes, that’s better).
Paris! The mere mention of the city* conjures up Emily’s adventures of glamour, fashion, amor, and that certain, yet elusive, “je ne sais quoi”. So when my husband and I had an opportunity to live in Paris we were packed and ready. But really, were we ready?
Filled with the knowledge gained from esteemed author Ludwig Bemelmans**, we arrived confidently at the apartment. True to the online description, we were living in Paris with “two bedrooms, two baths”. There is a boulangerie on the corner displaying three kinds of croissants . What more is there to know?
In the course of unpacking we opened every door, searched behind every corner, and even looked for a secret wall, we discovered only one toilet in a separate room. Lesson One: “deux salles de bains” (two bathrooms) is not the same as “deux toilettes” (translation obvious). We agreed not to tell the kids until after they arrived.
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| Ah, the architecture of Paris! |
Never mind! We have plans! We had downloaded websites! We were following trendy influencers! But first, we needed groceries. The neighborhoods in Paris are filled with amazing markets offering fragrant bouquets, fruits and vegetables in color palettes worthy of Le Louvre, and fish still glistening from the Mediterranean waters. Women (I’m talking to you, Emily) are filling their designer straw bags with fresh herbs!
A few minutes later I am juggling items on a scavenger hunt in the aisles of Le Monoprix tracking down such delights as 1. trash bags (medium and large); 2. soap (laundry and hand); and 3. disinfectant (with bleach) ***. Translating the labels on cleaning products is an often overlooked and under appreciated skill. Lesson 2- no need to tell anyone that you used dish soap instead of laundry soap for the first week because “savon” is “savon”, right?
Whether you are coming to live in Paris or just a quick visit, keep in mind Lesson 3- always, always say “Bonjour, Madame “ or “Bonjour Monsieur” when walking into a shop or sitting down in a cafe. It’s not only polite, it ensures that someone will notice that you are parched and jet lagged. More on cafes later but for now it is important to know that the waiter will not approach your table to announce “My name is Brooklyn, and I’ll be your server today”. Do not expect this from waiters in Paris (none of whom are named after an Adroissement, by the way.)
Reader, I am happily to report that the very same week we finally did get to see The Eiffel Tower twinkle after sundown and Monet’s waterlilies. We also honed our vocabulary skills discussing the lack of hot water with the plumber, starch versus no starch with the dry cleaner, and the dilemma of mismatched laces with the shoemaker. They do not speak much English. We do not speak much French.
Whether you are coming to live in Paris or just a quick visit, keep in mind Lesson 3- always, always say “Bonjour, Madame “ or “Bonjour Monsieur” when walking into a shop or sitting down in a cafe. It’s not only polite, it ensures that someone will notice that you are parched and jet lagged. More on cafes later but for now it is important to know that the waiter will not approach your table to announce “My name is Brooklyn, and I’ll be your server today”. Do not expect this from waiters in Paris (none of whom are named after an Adroissement, by the way.)
Reader, I am happily to report that the very same week we finally did get to see The Eiffel Tower twinkle after sundown and Monet’s waterlilies. We also honed our vocabulary skills discussing the lack of hot water with the plumber, starch versus no starch with the dry cleaner, and the dilemma of mismatched laces with the shoemaker. They do not speak much English. We do not speak much French.
Can this “marriage” be saved? Read on with Part II of our adventures: FRENCH 101.
*Paris, France, that is. Any other Paris— say Paris, Texas— conjures up thoughts of mechanical bulls and really can’t be compared.
**that’s Madeline, of the famed midnight appendicitis
*** only one toilet, remember?
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