"Mothers Are Made: How One Mom Overcame Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, Loneliness, and Anxiety to Become a Better and Happier Parent," is published by Alcove Press and available at most major booksellers.
Danielle Sherman-Lazar: In Mother’s Are Made I talk about how mothers are not simply born alongside their babies; instead, we are shaped by time and experience. It is through facing difficulties—going through the fire—that we develop resilience, bravery, and courage.
Motherhood is tough and often filled with moments when a mom might think, "I don't know if I can do this." This was a sentiment frequently experienced by me, a mother of four girls under the age of ten, as I navigated my way through challenges such as breastfeeding and my daughters stays in the NICU.
My goal writing this book was to empower moms to face crises—both large and small—with confidence. Readers will realize they are not alone in their struggles. I hope it will inspire them to navigate the uncomfortable aspects of motherhood, knowing they will emerge stronger, happier, and more capable on the other side.
Suzee: Moms barely have time to read a book yet you have written several. Tell me about your writing process.
Danielle Sherman-Lazar: As a mother of four, finding time to write was often a challenge. I quickly learned to get creative—writing late at night when the house was finally quiet or sneaking in a few lines during rare pockets of downtime. If inspiration struck while I was in the middle of something, I’d text ideas to myself so I wouldn’t lose them.
Eventually, my husband started handling the bedtime routine for our oldest three, giving me some extra time to write. It wasn’t always seamless—some nights Julia or Diana would want me, or Charli would give me a hard time going to bed—but writing is my outlet, my way to unwind, and the time I got to do it was cathartic and brought me back to me outside or motherhood.
Whether it was one or four hours, I’d sit down with my computer and let the words flow. I’d write a small section of a bad rough draft and then go back and slowly edit the small rough draft of my thoughts I just wrote until everything would flow to my liking, then I’d move on to another section.
Suzee: Eating disorders are on the rise, I might say fueled by growing pressures on women and also social media. It must have been very hard to talk about this. Tell me about why it was so important to open up about it.
Danielle Sherman-Lazar: It wasn’t easy to talk about, but my writing journey began with a purpose: to spread awareness. I started Living FULL at twenty-six, after hitting rock bottom—my body finally gave out from a two-decade battle with eating disorders, and I had a seizure that landed me in the hospital.
Shame had kept me silent for years.
I never looked anything up, because I believed I was alone in my struggle. Nearly fifteen years ago, conversations about mental health were rare, and eating disorders were still widely misunderstood dismissed as a superficial choice rather than recognized as the complex medical illnesses they are.
What helped me break free from that shame was learning the truth: eating disorders aren’t choices. They’re medical conditions, influenced by genetics, not something we bring upon ourselves. That realization changed everything. I knew I had survived for a reason, and I couldn’t stay silent anymore. I wanted to share my story so others wouldn’t feel as lost or alone as I had.I wanted them to know they could ask for help before reaching rock bottom—that change was possible.
Suzee: What is the best thing that moms can do to help themselves through challenging times?
Danielle Sherman-Lazar: One of the most powerful things moms can do in challenging times is silence the doubt by remembering this: we can and will get through—because we always have. Even the quietest mom will find her voice when she must, asking questions, raising concerns, and seeking help. We dig deep. We figure it out. We persevere—because that’s what mothers do, especially for our babies. And no, we won’t always get it right, but we will keep going. We will make it through.
Suzee: What did you study in college? What was your profession before becoming a mom?
Danielle Sherman-Lazar: I majored in economics and minored in sociology. I went on to work in my family business and still do the accounting work from home.
Suzee: Any words of advice on how to juggle being a parent and working outside the home?
Danielle Sherman-Lazar: As mothers, we all feel overwhelmed and like we aren’t enough at times. When we love someone so much, and want to do our best for them, we’re always going to feel like we’re falling short—but we aren’t. We have to let go of perfectionism in motherhood or we’ll be miserable because we’re chasing something that doesn’t exist.
I work from home, and it can be chaotic to find the time. I work during my two-year old’s naps or bribe her with a firecracker in return for some computer time if she doesn’t nap. I also have learned to give myself grace. If I have to work late, I do. If I have to hand someone a screen so I can finish, I don’t feel guilt. I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself. I know I will get everything done before my head hits the pillow because I always do. I also know I’m a good mom.
Suzee: Having raised only boys, please tell me what it's like to raise girls these days.
It’s a little daunting, to be honest. The world moves fast, and girls are growing up even faster, exposed to so much more through technology. My nine-year-old is already obsessed with skincare and only wants to go to Ulta and Sephora. More than ever, it’s our job to raise them to be strong, confident, and unafraid to speak up. We can’t shield them from everything, but we can empower them to navigate the world with awareness and bravery.
Now a few "fun" questions:
Favorite Movies?
Little Women, Love, Rosie, Something’s Gotta Give, Now and Then
Series you are Watching?
Love Is Blind, Sweet Magnolias, Apple Cider Vinegar & Sweethearts
Name a few shows you would recommend to other mothers of girls.
Gilmore Girls (because it’s amazing!), Nashville, Parenthood, and me and my 9-year-old love watching Dance Moms together!
Best advice you ever got on being a mom, and from whom?
The best advice I ever received about motherhood was simple yet life-changing: if you love your children, show up every day, and try your best, you are a good mom. I don’t even remember who told me, but those words have stayed with me, guiding me through every stage of motherhood.
What advice would you give your younger self the first week you found out you were pregnant?
If I could give my younger self advice during that first week of pregnancy, it would be this: Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’re going to be a great mom, and earlier doesn’t always mean better. How easily breastfeeding comes to you, when your baby starts crawling, or how early your child potty trains—none of these define your worth as a parent. Learn what grace is and give yourself a ton of it.
What are some of your favorite places to unwind in NJ?
I have four kids, so I don’t get to unwind much! But I love watching my girls do the things they love at Progressive Dance Studio and Bergen Equestrian. We also love going to play spaces and parks in the area (when the weather is warmer). I also love taking walks.
INFO:
https://www.facebook.com/StrivingToBeFULLeveryday/
Living Full Danielle Sherman- Lazar @livingfullaftered
www.livingfull.me